The Unthinkable
by MonkandMiko
Summary: A response to MonkandMiko's sentencebased challenge. I must use the phrase 'You don't know how lucky you are. Men have it SO easy...' at least once in this fic.
1. A Demon's Mischief

**Title:** The Unthinkable  
**Author:** Flesheater777  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Inuyasha franchise. You'd _know_ if I did.  
**Rating:** PG-13/T (Just in case.)  
**Summary: **A response to MonkandMiko's sentence-based challenge. I must use the phrase 'You don't know how lucky you are. Men have it SO easy...' at least once in this fic.

**Author's note:** While I try to complete this single challenge, I will include as many of the other phrases as I can.

**Chapter I**

A Demon's Mischief

"It can't be THAT hard..." That's what I said before the switch.

Oops! I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning. As some of you may know, my name is Kagome Higurashi. You may also know about Inuyasha and the gang, especially Miroku... If ya do, it makes my job a whole lot easier. If ya don't, I hope you can catch up as we go along. Okay? Good. Then I can start the story. For parts of the story that I wasn't there for, my new friend Flesheater777 shall take over.

Hey, wait a minute! What kind of a name is that?

**Flesheater777:** That's just my internet name. Sorry, m'lady.

Ooookayyyyyyyy... back to the story! It all started when we were camping out one night...

I was in the hot spring with Sango and Shippo, who was obviously in the ring floatie I bought for him. As usual, Sango was prodding me about my feelings for Inuyasha, though this time she went to far. "... what did you call me?"

So Sango says, "You heard me. You're a boy addict. You can't decide who's your favourite between Inuyasha, and Koga..."

Then I was stupid enough to say, "...and Hojo..."

Then - get this! - she says, "Do you see what I mean? Why, next you'll be after Miroku, I suppose?"

I saw the moment for a joke and replied with, "Oh, no, Sango. The pervert's all yours!" As she blushed, I thought, _Hehehe... that shut her up!_

There was some rustling in nearby bushes just then, so Sango threw a nearby log into the bushes, only to find Miroku fall out. "Pervert!" Sango said that, not me.

I just muttered "Oh, brother..." and left the talking to Sango.

"What excuse is it this time, monk!"

With his hand behind his head in a nervous gesture, he said, "I was just keeping guard of the area! Honest! I wouldn't want any bandits harming my precious Sango!"

At that moment, something inside me just... I dunno... burst. I started to yell at him. "You bastard! You couldn't last one day as a woman! How would you like it, to be spied upon, to be violated, to be groped like some kid's toy? You make me sick!"

He responded with, "In that situation, I'd say, 'I feel loved. Violated, but loved.' As for you, what makes you think you'd do so well as a man?"

So I said, "It can't be THAT hard... You don't know how lucky you are. Men have it SO easy... You don't have to worry about how you look, or how you dress, or having your emotions go out of control. You got it easy!" Miroku had nothing to say to that, so he walked away. I was still riled up, so I was all like, "Yeah, you better run!"

Sango was surprised. "Kagome, I've never seen you do anything like that before. Is something wrong?"

You know how it just happened, and that's what I tried to tell Sango. "No, it just... it just happened. I don't know what came over me..."

**Flesheater777:** Unbeknownst to Lady Kagome, but knownst to me for some reason, an imp-like demon in a shroud was lurking in another nearby bush, carrying an ebony lantern which emitted no light at the moment. "Interesssstingg... perhapsssss I can give those two mortalzzz the chanssssss to prove their ideasssss. It'ssss been a while since Ozou exercizzzed his power..." His lantern emitted a faint blue light in response...

Thanks for telling them that. Anyway...

**Flesheater777:** No need to thank me, Lady Kagome. It's what I do.

Anyway... we were all asleep. Me, Shippo, Sango, and Miroku in the sleeping bags I brought, and Inuyasha in a tree. That little... demon-thingie... dammit, Flesheater777's a much better writer than I am... pulled Shippo out of my sleeping bag and dragged me and Miroku away by our... sleeping bags. Flesheater777, how do you make this crap sound good?

**Flesheater777:** It just happens. I still find problems in my writing, and I don't have any idea how to fix that last sentence.

Dammit... anyway, when we were in a remote enough spot... ummm...

**Flesheater777:** If it helps, I believe the name of the demon was Denchimaru.

Thanks. When we were in a remote enough spot, Denchimaru pulled us out of our sleeping bags and hit us both across the face. We both woke up with a start, dazed and confused.

**Flesheater777:** You're getting better at this, Lady Kagome.

Thank you! Anyway, Denchimaru started to speak. "I am Denchimaru, bringer of enlightenment and alteror of perspective. In the name of Ozou the Illuminator, I switch thine perspectives until ultimate knowledge is received!"

At that moment, Ozou's blue light shone with an unmatched intensity... like a star, almost. When the light was gone, so was Denchimaru and Ozou, and my hands weren't mine anymore...

**Flesheater777:** As soon as Denchimaru was far enough away from them, he smashed Ozou to the ground and killed himself with a dagger he drew from his robes, knowing full well that both would be reincarnated at the nearest shrine. As for the phrase 'full well', I believe I read it in a book somewhere.

How _do_ you know what Denchimaru did, Flesheater777?

**Flesheater777:** I am one of the authors writing this story, after all. Authors have the gift of knowing hidden thoughts and simulataneous events and the like. To do so, one must focus their mind on what they wish to know. You can do that to, Lady Kagome.

In that case, can I write this story by myself?

**Flesheater777: **Of course. I sense you wish to know why I call you Lady Kagome. I've always thought of myself as a noble character, a sophisticated person who still enjoys the simpler things in life.

Wow. Okay, bye!

**Flesheater777: **Farewell.

Where was I?... Oh, that's right! I lifted up my hands (I use the term 'my' loosely) to find Miroku's hands instead. "AAGH! I'M NOT ME ANYMORE!" I cried.

Then Miroku, in my body, stepped in front of me. We both felt the weird feeling of looking in a mirror that wasn't really a mirror, and shivered in unison. "Calm down, Lady Kagome. Perhaps if we track this Denchimaru down, he can reverse this."

I nodded, and started to follow the three-toed tracks. Miroku was close behind. Then, we both stopped at the same time, gasping in horror/disbelief at what we saw...

— — —

**A/N:** Stay tuned for Chapter II: Denchimaru's dead - what now?

— — —

Such an interesting mix of first and third person perspective, don't you think?

Anyway, thanks to Flesheater777 for responding to two sentence challenges in a single story (a single chapter, even)! The "Men have it SO easy..." challenge is stated, but there's one more that's hidden within the text...can you find it?

According to the author himself, there will be more sentence-based challenges included in the future. Sounds like an interesting scavenger hunt, eh?

Thanks again!

Megami


	2. Denchimaru's dead what now?

**Title:** The Unthinkable  
**Author:** Flesheater777  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Inuyasha franchise. You'd _know_ if I did.  
**Rating:** PG-13/T (Just in case.)  
**Summary: **A response to MonkandMiko's sentence-based challenge. I must use the phrase 'You don't know how lucky you are. Men have it SO easy...' at least once in this fic.

**Author's note:** While I try to complete this single challenge, I will include as many of the other phrases as I can.

**Chapter II:** Denchimaru's dead - what now?

We saw Denchimaru's dead body, the smashed remains of Ozou, and a bloody dagger. "Oh, great! He's dead! What are we supposed to do now? I can't live life as you!" I screamed.

"Relax. Maybe we can find another way to reverse this." Miroku, of course."

I sighed. "I guess you're right. Maybe Kaede-"

"NO! We can't let anyone know about this! They'd panic, or laugh! Imagine the jokes they'd be making about us!"

I thought about what he said. Though it would be worse for him, I'd still get my fair share. "Okay. We won't tell them. But what will I do if we get in a fight? You'll have to train me on how to use the Wind Tunnel, and I'll have to train you on how to use the Sacred Arrow."

Then he pointed out the greatest difficulty. "We'll also have to get to know each other a great deal, to know how the other would respond to anything... That's the hard part."

After a few moments of thinking, we both said, "Let's start with the combat training..." at the same time.

"...So the key is to keep your arm straight. I can't emphasize this enough. My arm... er, your arm... the arm will want to fly every which way, so you must hold it still with all your strength. And of course, I don't have to tell you to aim it _away_ from your face."

As I held the Sacred Beads, I said, "Oh, _very funny_. I'm gonna try it now!" I unraveled the blessed cloth and beads the way Miroku taught me. I couldn't believe the strain! Imagine a million ropes tied to your arm, with fifty strong people tugging at each rope! After five minutes or so, I said that I couldn't take it any longer.

Rather than telling me to seal it, Miroku came up incredibly close behind me and held my arm in place. "You must learn to deal with the strain. Here, let me help you."

I kinda blushed for a second, then focused on the Wind Tunnel. I was actually doing it! Then, things got crazy.

"Kagome... the other hand is... touching me... in places... it should be holding up the arm!"

"Sorry, Miroku. Your hands have a mind of their own..."

"At least you have that right... I'm gonna let go now. Try to hold it open for 5 seconds longer, then seal it up. If you can do that, I'd say you are qualified to use this in battle."

Turns out I did it. I was jumping for joy when Miroku said, "I wouldn't do that. If this were a real fight, you'd let out a sigh of relief that you weren't sucked in. I live every day fearing it's my last, thanks to that accursed hand. I suggest you do the same."

_Wow,_ I thought,_ I've never seen this side of him before. Wait a minute! Every day could be my last! Eek! _"How do you live with that kind of thing, Miroku?"

He said, "Master Mushin taught me a couple of stress relief exercises, though sake and being a pervert help, too. You wouldn't know how calming it is every time I grab Sango's-"

"Enough!" I said, "I suppose I will, at any rate. Let's talk about the Sacred Sutras next."

I was through with my lessons and was about to teach Miroku how to use a regular arrow (that's right, _regular_) when Inuyasha, Sango, and Shippo found us. "What are you doing here?" asked Sango.

I had to think fast. "Ummm... Okay, you caught me. I was teaching Kagome how to heighten her spiritual powers. I am a monk, after all. I even taught her the use of the bo staff. Show them, Kagome."

I tossed Miroku his staff, and he performed some things I thought were impossible with a staff. It seemed to fly between his hands, twirling rapidly. "Wow! You're a good teacher, Miroku! Now I won't have to worry about her as much!" said Inuyasha.

Thinking quickly, Miroku said, "I even taught Miroku how to use a Sacred Arrow. It's not as powerful as mine, but it uses the same power as his sutras. Go ahead and show 'em!" So I grabbed the bow, nocked an arrow, and focused on what Miroku said about focusing energy for sutras. I let it fly, and a nearby tree was glowing with Sacred Fire for a few seconds.

"Bravo! Hey, wait a minute. What happened to your sleeping bags? We left to find you when you and your bags were gone." asked Sango.

I remembered that I sucked them up during Wind Tunnel training, and came up with a lie. "I dunno. Kagome, do you think an animal could've carried them off?"

Miroku saw what I was doing, and said, "It doesn't happen often, but it wouldn't be the first time..."

I was surprised at how real he sounded. That was what I would say! Anyway, they bought it. "Oh, okay. Kagome, get on your bike and we'll get going." Inuyasha said. Miroku on a bike? What was I going to do?

— — —

**A/N:** Stay tuned for Chapter III: Bicycles, Demons, and School! Oh my! (yes, it's a Wizard of Oz reference, so what?) R&R!


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